Hello Mom,
Pushed to your breaking point and you just couldn’t help but spank your kid? Trust me, we’ve all been there. But do you know what hitting your child does? It drives home the wrong message in more ways than one. Yes, you read me right!
Spare the rod and spoil the child. Isn’t that what the old proverb says? Definitely! This proverb is a way of saying children should be corrected. But on the contrary, it has formed the basis for child spanking – an insidious act done by some parents and even condoled in some schools. Should child spanking be a form of discipline? Hmm, I sure don’t think so. And here’s why.
Enforcing discipline through spanking causes fear in a child not understanding. It teaches the child to avoid you (the punisher), not what they did wrong. And there’s every possibility that the wrong will be repeated.
Do you know that spanking is damaging to the long-term mental health of children as well? Studies show that children who were spanked are more prone to depression, low self-esteem and anxiety. They’re also more likely to become deviants, aggressive and anti-social adults. According to these studies, more than 40% of aggressive people had a violent childhood. Physical punishments like beating/spanking rank top on the list of childhood violence/abuse. Hitting is a way of teaching the child to be a hitter and this forms the basis of their relationship with others as they grow (little wonder, we’ve got an alarming rate of increased domestic violence).
 Spank Your Kids?

Here’s a common scenario that I’ve publicly witnessed many times – a misunderstanding between two playing kids. One hits the other and the victim breaks out crying. An adult comes into the scene and the hitting kid instantly gets a good spank on the bum (worst case scenario, a slap on the cheek or back). Rather than get a counsel on reasons not to hit, the child gets hit in return. The kids just got a clear demonstration that it’s right to hit people (especially as a bigger one). You just modelled to the child that by hitting him in return, you have corrected the wrong he did to the other child – in other words, violence is the way to go in resolving issues.
In our African society where spanking is widely encouraged, common phrases like – “I wasn’t spared by my parents”, “my dad had a cane for me” – are often used to justify physical punishment. However, the question is, how many of us can truly refer to those times as happy childhood moments? If we can’t, why should our children be subjected to same?
Interestingly, a child is more likely to remember the hurt from one spank than the show of love from ten hugs. Is spanking then really necessary? If you ask me, there are less frightening detrimental options at our disposal as parents to address childish misbehaviours.
What’s your take?

This would not be a serious article if we were not Africans. It is really difficult living in the times we are in right now. Most people have been exposed to western culture either through the media or travels and experiences.
Nigerians are the most travelled people in the world. I have uncles who joke that if you travel to a strange land and there is no single Nigerian you should leave that place because it must be a bad land. Jokes aside what I am trying to say that if you have people who have been around as much as we have then there is definitely a mix of cultures. However, I have noticed some way of thinking stays true to us.
Africans and Middle Eastern cultures believe that women should be covered up as a sign of dignity and respect. The western world believes in freedom of expression and liberalism that includes showing as much skin as one desires. Do you know there is even a ban on women been covered up at beaches in Cannes?
After you have been round the world, frolicked with stars become even a sort of celebrity yourself, how much skin is too much at the beach?
I have to burst your bubble here and tell you Bar Beach is not the same as a beach in the Bahamas.  If you wear a bikini here you would be the centre of attention. You would also most likely stick out like a sore thumb. This applies to Alpha Beach, Elegushi and Oniru Beach in Lagos, in fact any public beach in Nigeria.

There is a loop hole here, wait for it. Now, If you wanted to wear a bikini to Inagbe Resort or Ilashe, La Campaigne Tropicana and other private beaches in Lagos and around Nigeria, I say bring your A game because you will have a run for your money competing with the hotties around you.
To answer the question, “How much skin is too much?” It depends on your environment and how bold and confident you are. When in Rome be like the Romans.
There are some benefits of being covered up at the beach;

Preventing sunburns
No Abrasions

Some people go to the beach to really let loose, run around play with the children, ride horses even swim so there are less chances of getting cuts and scratches if your skin is well protected

You may be more care free

You may have more fun if you are less conscious how your belly looks in that suit

No wardrobe malfunctions

I mean what would you do if your bikini top slips off with a bunch of onlookers ogling you?

I should tell you what a shift dress means to me. It is my go-to choice when I want to attend an event and feast. Shift dresses are the bomb, they may look boring at first because it is just one simple item of clothing. I tell you though, if the bust and shoulders fit, you are good to go.
There are many reasons why you should wear shift dresses but I will start with one of my reasons.
Shift Dress
Shift dresses show off my beautiful legs

Shift dresses are flattering for every figure

Whether you are plus sized or model slim, you would look gorgeous in them
Shift dresses are elegant

You can easily picture yourself as some royal in heels and pearls attending to your court
Shift dresses are comfortable
I am all for waist snatching but sometimes I just want my belly to breathe. Please lets make space for small chops
Easy to accessorize
You have a lovely canvas with shift dresses. You can go with statement ear rings or gorgeous neck pieces, scarves. You can add quirky purses or bags and let your shoes do the talking
You can go print-balistic
You can get shift dresses in all sorts of prints and even fabric
You can easily go from day to night
Shift dresses can be casual for day time and dressier even for night time with the right accessories and make up
They are easy to make
If you have an event and you are running out of time to make a dress or an outfit, you can easily go for a shift dress. A good seamstress can make a perfect one in a matter of a few hours
Belly Bump Cover
Hey, if you are not ready to make the baby announcement, this can be your go to look.
 
 
Oh Angela Simmons is my style crush for today *teehee*

Being in a long distance relationship can be frustrating and tiring at times; especially when you are surrounded with people who don’t believe in the concept.
Here a few tips to help you to blossom your relationship and cope with the distance.

Communicate regularly and creatively
Be open and honest with each other and learn to trust your partner
Set ground rules so you won’t be taken by surprise.

You need to be sure of where you stand. Are the two of you exclusive? Is the relationship leading to marriage? Is any of you going to relocate so you can be together etc.?

Ignore negativity from people around you.
Visit each other as often as you can.
Clarify a conflict or problem as soon as it arises.
Send photos and video call whenever you can.
Keep yourself busy with work, family and friends, so you don’t feel lonely
Be patient.
Don’t play power games to see who cares more or less.
View it as a learning journey for both of you.
Talk about mundane things that happened during the day.
Look ahead and make plans with your partner, this way you have something to look forward to.
Do similar things like read the same book or watch the same movie, so you have things to talk about.
Do things together like shopping online.
Add a little romance; send each other surprise gifts from time to time; could be birthdays, anniversaries or valentine’s day.
Know each other’s schedule.
Give each other a personal object you both can hold on to.
Keep each other updated on friends and family.
Stay positive.

You need to keep reminding yourself that there is a light at the end of the tunnel; someday soon, you will be together again.

You just met a new guy probably via a mutual friend or on the internet and you have both decided to go on a first date to get to know each other better. Are you are wondering what to wear, what to do and how to behave? Here is a guide to making a good impression on your first date
Your First Date

Prepare for your date

Know if it’s a casual or fancy date before making any fashion plans. Dress to impress while still wearing what you are comfortable in.
You need to be well groomed, first impressions matter a lot
Make a list of conversation starters and questions you can ask your date even before you go out, this will help prevent awkward silences.

Plan a brief first date
Since you don’t know how the date will go, it is best to plan your first date to be short. It could be a quick lunch during work hours or a quick drink early in the evening. A first date doesn’t warrant a movie or dinner or any long event.
Communicate openly and honestly
Talk to your date and listen to what he has to say. Try to listen a little more than you talk, but don’t let the conversation die out.
Ask open-ended questions
Don’t ask Yes or No questions, this will give him a chance to speak and you will learn more about him. Ask about his hobbies, his job, his family, his taste in music, books etc.
Pay your date compliments
We, ladies like been complimented, it is also the same for the men. Find something to compliment your date about; it could be a part of his clothing or even his smile or behavior.
Offer to pick the tab or at least pay for yourself
You should offer to pay the bill but if your offer If you offer is declined, don’t fuss about it.
Be yourself
 It’s understandable if you are nervous, but try to be your usual self. You don’t need to put on airs or act what you are not.
Be Positive
There’s no reason to bring up bad past relationships or bad dating experiences on the first date. It’s probably best to avoid discussions about exes
Be polite
Do we really have to say this? Avoid criticizing your date or others around you. Don’t make disparaging comments about your date
May your first date lead to many more dates.
 

Just like cornrows, Bantu knots are a cute, flirty style traditionally sported by African woman of certain cultural group and some women of African descent but these knots work well with just about all hair types.
Bantu knots are not actually knots, they are small, coiled buns secured against the side of the head. Regardless, if you uncoil your Bantu knots after you’ve sported them, you can create a second, curly hairstyle known as a Bantu knot-out.
Bantu knot-out is also another way to introduce curly hair after taken down. The Bantu knot out is a very popular option amongst natural hair.
It doesn’t matter if you have short hair or have opted for weave. Even though it’s a far cry from crochet braids. This DIY hairstyle will allow you to care for your hair while you maintain a great look.

How To Tie Bantu Knots
Step One: After washing or co-washing your hair, separate it into four parts using a t part. Oil and then gently comb through each section with your Denman brush. After combing each section through and tying it back up, part each section according to the amount of bantu knots you’d like in each one
Step Two: Using the “praying hands” technique, apply all of your products to each section one by one. After applying your products, comb through your smaller hair sections gently and thoroughly.
Step Three: Using your hair tie, tightly tie one of your smaller sections creating a ponytail. Then separate that ponytail into two once it’s securely in the hair tie. Once you have your two pieces of hair in your hands, begin a two strand twist. (Some people create a braid for a different curl pattern. You can choose whatever you like best).
Step four: After twisting the two strands together, take the whole twist and twist it in a knot clockwise. To secure your knot, you can use a bobby pin or tuck it under the knot.

Oily skin is golden, but it can be a problem as well. Although the oil on our skin helps protect it and fight signs of aging, many people suffer from an excess of oil. Oily skin can affect people of all ages and cause blemishes, pimples, and other problems.
Oily skin is caused by over-active glands that produce too much sebum. In the right amounts, natural oils keep the skin looking healthy and youthful, reducing the appearance of fine lines and wrinkles.
Oily skin is genetic and can also be caused by hormone fluctuations brought on by pregnancy, menstruation, stress, birth control pills, and the use of harsh skin care products.
Homemade Face Masks for Oily Skin

In this article we are giving you three DIY natural homemade face masks to narrow your skin pores and stabilize production of natural oil, the so called sebum.
Bentonite Clay Oily Skin Homemade Face Mask
 Bentonite, also called Green Clay, Face Mask is a wonderful facial mask for oily and greasy skin. When you talk of clay masks, there is no better clay than the green clay.
Mix 1 tablespoon of green clay, 1 teaspoon of apricot kernel oil and 3 drops of palmarosa essential oil. (You can get these ingredients from a natural food or health store.)  Mix these ingredients together. Mix in a few drops of warm water. If needed add in a little bit more of warm water to make a consistent, spreadable paste.
 Apply this facial mask and let it dry for say 10 minutes or so. Rinse it off with a warm washcloth.
 Gram Flour, Turmeric, Lemon Juice and Milk Facial Mask For Oily Skin Care
 Gram flour and turmeric together is very effective for getting rid of excess oil from the skin. Take 2 tablespoons of gram flour; two to three tablespoons of milk and water as needed, and mix these ingredients well to form a spreadable paste.
 Apply this mask on your face, leaving it there for about 20 minutes. Rinse it off. It works to deep cleanse and get rid of dead skin cells form your facial skin, giving it oil free and clean appearance. This oily skin face mask also works as a natural exfoliant and facial scrub.
Fruit Natural Face Masks for Oily Skin
Oily and greasy skin can be treated by applying lemon, orange, tomato, grapefruit and papaya. They all are packed with vitamin C and contain astringent oils that work to treat greasy and oily skin. Natural astringent ingredients of these fruits act to tighten facial pores, decrease oil secretion and keep your skin clean and oil free.
Note: Many people have oily areas only on forehead, nose and chin. This is called combination skin. Such people with combination skin should apply these fruit face masks only on T-zone area. Do not apply on dry areas of your face, as you may then suffer from dry patches.
                                                       

Getting a pedicure at the spa can be expensive and we want to pamper our feet. We want beautiful, soft feet. Beautiful skin, healthy hair, toned body, make up, all these are incomplete without a beautiful feet.
To have soft, beautiful feet with silky skin, you don’t need those expensive foot scrubs that you see in departmental stores and spas! You can go for DIY foot scrubs and soaks that will cost you pennies only since store bought scrubs costs more.
These all natural foot scrubs are easy to make at home and have countless variations. It’s just a matter of choosing whether you prefer a sugar or salt scrub and what kind of carrier oil (base oil) and essential oil scent you like. They are incredibly moisturizing and exfoliating to the skin.
The best thing about homemade foot scubs is that most of you already have some of these natural ingredients at home. If you like to pamper your feet to keep them in tip-top conditions and save some money as well, get ready to learn how to make a foot scrub at home.

How to Make Foot Scrubs At Home
Three constituents are required to make any scrub – A moisturizer (coconut oil or olive oil are great to use); the sand-paper element (sugar or salt), and optional elements – such as essential oil, herbs, lemon, oats, etc.
 Homemade Exfoliating Foot Scrub Using Baking Soda, Brown Sugar And Olive Oil
This exfoliating foot scrub is very easy to make that you can whip up in a few minutes only.

Take 1 tablespoon each of baking soda, brown sugar and olive oil. Mix these ingredients thoroughly just before taking shower or bath.
Scrub the mixture on your feet. You can use it on other rough areas as well, such as knees and elbows. Finish with rinsing it off completely.

Beauty Tip: Use an acrylic foot file, if you have dry heels and moisturize your dry feet with a really thick foot lotion.
 DIY Coconut Oil and Sea Salt Foot Scrub
 You can make a sea salt scrub using coconut oil as carrier (base) oil. You will require course sea salt, coconut oil and 3-4 drops of essential oil for fragrance.
Method:

Just mix the course sea salt (or granulated sugar) and coconut oil in 2:1 proportions. For instance if you take 1 cup salt then take 1/2 cup of coconut oil. Add in 3-4 drops of your favorite essential oil. Whisk it up.
Transfer the scrub into an air tight jar, and that’s it.

Magnesium Foot Scrub

1 cup ofepsom salt (a natural source of magnesium) ormagnesium flakes
1/4 cupolive oil or almond oil 
1 teaspoonliquid castille soap 
Optional: 10-15 drops ofessential oil of choice

In a small bowl, mix all ingredients and add essential oils or scents until desired scent is achieved.
Store inan airtight jar and use a teaspoon sized amount to exfoliate feet or body as needed.
Rinse after use.

Homemade scrubs are fun to make. You can choose the ingredients you want. You don’t have to spend so much at the spa to get a pedicure.

About 3 weeks ago, I was strolling through social media as usual and came across an e-book written by popular musician Peeshaun. You might not know Peeshaun but I’m sure you would have heard of Skuki; well, Peeshaun is one half of the Skuki duo. It’s the first book in his guy-girl code series (he says there will be more books) and it teaches women tips to keeping their man in love even after getting the cookie.
The book teaches you to know your man’s ‘mumu’ buttons and how to starve his ego to bring out his emotional side. There are some funny phrases from the book:
 ‘’You still want to call him and talk? I salute you oh. If you like call him and sing, someone who isn’t hearing what you are saying, you still want to talk, are you a radio?’’
‘Uncontrolled emotions create baseless sentiments. You would see yourself condoning s**t you should never condone, like ‘’oh, he didn’t pick his phone for a whole week, despite seeing all my missed calls and messages, well maybe he was really busy sha’’. That is ridiculous, but it happens a lot, when your emotions have developed six packs and are stronger than you.’
Couples In Love

My thoughts: This is a book I would encourage every woman to read, especially any woman (between the ages of 18 and 40) who has felt unloved by a guy probably after sex or after dating for a while. As the author said in the book, this piece is not to be treated as a book for insecure ladies; rather it should be seen as a book that helps you understand the male mindset and the male perspective to dating, so you are able to make better relationship decisions.
Considering the fact, that it is probably his first book, the writer did surprisingly well and I am eagerly awaiting the second book in this series.
The book is only available as an e-book (it has just 11 pages, so it won’t take too much of your time), you can go download your free copy at www.skukisdiary.com/start

Petroleum jelly (Vaseline being the commonest, most trusted brand) is a translucent jelly used as an ointment and it is a common item in many households. We probably have a jar of petroleum jelly (PJ) just sitting in our closet without use. Well, here a few unconventional uses of petroleum jelly
Petroleum Jelly

Do you want your perfume to last all day? Rub Petroleum jelly on your pulse points (your wrist, neck and behind your ear), and then spray your perfume at these points, it will be sure to last all day. You can thank me later.
Shine your patent leather shoes with Vaseline and a piece of cloth or shoe brush.
PJ can be used to highlight your cheekbones to get that beautifully sculpted face.
You could use it to tame unruly eyebrows if you don’t have a brow gel.
When doing a DIY manicure, dab a little PJ around your fingernails before applying polish; it will keep polish from sticking to your skin.
Is your wedding band stuck on your finger? I know we know we can use water but you can also you petroleum jelly, rub the jelly on your finger, and then pull the ring off. You are welcome.
Make a cheap home exfoliator for your lips and skin with PJ and sugar.
Use as a lip balm to moisturize and soften the lips. I know you know this but I just had to include it.
Is there an annoying watermark on your furniture? Apply PJ and let it sit overnight, wipe the jelly off in the morning and the watermark will be gone as well.
You can also use PJ to remove eye makeup especially false lashes. Smudge PJ on your lash line with a cotton swab and then pull the lash.
Use PJ as a protectant on your baby’s bum to prevent diaper rash.
We probably all have this particular nail polish that the top keeps sticking to the bottle, making it hard to open. Rub PJ along the rim of the bottle, it will keep the top from sticking.
You don’t need expensive hand creams, use PJ to moisturize your fingers and cuticles.
Do you have cracked heels or chapped hands? Soothe cracked heels and hands with PJ, slather on overnight and your feet and hands will be as good as new by morning.
Don’t have an eye shadow primer? Don’t worry, rub Vaseline on your lids and apply your eye shadow colour of choice.
Have a lipstick stain on a cherished piece of clothing? Blot jelly on the stain and wash as usual, the stain would come off.
Lubricate cabinets, windows and squeaky doors by using petroleum jelly.

Please comment to let us know if you have used petroleum jelly in any of the above cases or if you know any other unconventional use of Petroleum Jelly. Thank you.