After all that planning and the big wedding you probably want the honeymoon phase to last forever. Tough luck. The longer you stay in a relationship (talk less of marriage) the more you are going to be confronted with real life issues; money being the root of all evil must show up. Before you decide who pays for what, here are some valuable gems I have gathered over the years. Like I said I am ready for marriage.
We all have different backgrounds. What we witnessed with our parents goes a long way in our psyche. I, for instance watched my dad pick up all the bills so it may be a bit strange for me if my husband demands that I pay for certain things. However, I fully understand that the times are different. Some people have watched their mothers man the finances in the home so they expect naturally to be in charge and have a higher tendency to hide incomes and assets. You have to discuss these past experiences and habits so you understand each other better.
Should You Pay School fees?
No, my sister you should not. There is something I heard from my pastor’s wife that has stuck with me till date. She said women weren’t wired to bear the full brunt of responsibilities especially financial ones. If a woman pays her children’s school fees for one term the whole street would hear.  If it was such a regular normal occurrence why do the women who do this feel the need to brag about it? Yes, there are times a woman may need to chip in but paying school fees should not be a regular delegation.
I can hear some men asking “Why?” To get a woman to submit totally to you there are just some responsibilities you should handle as a man.
Who should pay for gadgets?
I am going to include DSTV bills as gadgets. Seeing as our government did not come to our aid in this day light robbery, if he is a football fan, let him pay for DSTV, if not you would be very happy with a N1,800 subscription from their cheaper alternative. Gadgets for the house most times are a man’s prerogative.
Now does that include kitchen ware and accessories? If you can push your luck try.
Children’s bills: Baby food etc.
They are your children too. There is nothing wrong with feeding the children and the home but I advise that you do not use all your money on feeding alone. Try to buy some tangible items for the home. Everyone likes to eat good food but they dismiss the amount of money and time that goes into it. This reminds me of a story my friend’s mother shared. She stayed with her boyfriend during her NYSC, he bought all the electronics and she bought the food stuff. When they were splitting up, he took his electronics but where was she going to take the food stuff from?
Women need financial wisdom more than anything. In all your spending and taking care of your home, you must have emergency savings and money set aside for a major investment.
Imagine the joy you would give your husband if you’re able to finance his brilliant idea ( that’s why you have to minimize the things you spend on). Imagine the pride you would feel.
Rent
If you want to live well, in a good area please contribute to the rent. If your earnings cannot allow you even contribute 40% of the rent you shouldn’t pressurize your husband.
In all things use wisdom according to your home.
Stay Blessed.
 
 
 

He who marries for love without money has good nights and sorry days.” – Ani Difranco
My answer to this question has changed over the years. The Amanda of now says marry for love.
Ani Difranco  also said: “The difference between lost love and lost money is that in lost money there is a possibility of getting back!”
Let me tell you why.
I have seen it all. *clears throat* I have been in a relationship with a person who was very wealthy and I have also been with someone who was struggling. I was with the struggling person first. When that ended, I felt: everyone would give you some sort of hassle so why not be in luxury while you are stressed.
So I entered into a relationship, not for money but it was hard to miss the money. It was then I discovered so many needs that I had that went way beyond money. I can’t tell you money doesn’t help, there is actually no such thing as too much money especially now with online banking and online shopping.
You need to understand what really brings you joy, happiness and peace as a person – that would help you make the best decision for YOU. Your happiness could come from being on the cover of Thisday Style or snuggling up with HIM watching movies on a Sunday afternoon.
Let me share what I have learnt:
Advantages of dating/marrying Money

You will have a stable future
You will have luxurious gifts
You can chase your dreams
You won’t have routine money concerns
You can become famous
Your friends will envy you
You wouldn’t have to work or face traffic daily

Advantages of dating/marrying Love

You will have a lot of romantic stories to tell
You may have more respect
You will learn the joys of hard work
You will have a friend for life
There is more trust
You don’t have to live under false pretenses
You can still make money

Love or Money? What do you choose?

High school was okay for me, I cannot say I had the best time of my life but it was definitely the peak of my formative years. I can say it was then that I became the person I am today, character-wise and all. University days hmmm…I am trying to reinvent myself so I run from some of my friends from uni. Just kidding. Maybe just a little. Reunion is not something that is uncommon; naturally you would want to meet some of your old buddies and besties once in a while.
If you live in the same town you went to school, the cheapest way to have a reunion is to wait till one of your former classmates is getting married. I understand that you may genuinely miss some of them, want to go down memory lane, may want to show off your spouse or your new levels. I am here for you. I have pointers on how to organize the perfect reunion.
First, decide if you are organizing a formal or informal event. If formal you may have to contact the school to reach out to the alumni. If informal you can even use Facebook.
Start planning early.
To ensure that you leave yourself enough time to plan a great reunion, you can start planning as early as 12 months prior to your reunion date. Especially if you want a grand affair. Also to allow as many people as possible attend. Some classmates might live in other states or even other countries. Some classmates might have changed their names. The earlier you begin assembling your committee, the more time you will have to reach out to the appropriate people.

Seek the help of other classmates. 
Form your own committee of people who will volunteer their time. You may want to appoint a different person for every event you plan to hold.
Meet with the committee to plan the reunion. 
The following are main issues to discuss:

Decide how you will raise money for the reunion events. You can ask for donations, a fee for all events or you can hold fundraisers.
Pick a date or dates. Check this with others to ensure your dates don’t clash with any events.
Pick a venue or venues

Send a Save the Date by mail and email. 
Do this 3 to 4 months prior to the actual event, so that you give people plenty of time to schedule. Ask the Alumni Association if they can help setting up a reunion page or school sponsored Save the Date emails
Consider creating an event page on Facebook. 
Social media is a popular way for college friends to stay in touch. You can create a Facebook group or fan page.
Create a reunion event program. 
Set dates, times, food, drinks and activities. Assign a reunion committee member to each event to carry out all the program details.
Send invitations and registration instructions 2 months in advance. 
Send out a program of events with the invitation so that alumni can choose what and when to attend. Set a date for class members to RSVP by email, phone or through online registration.
Ask for payment at this time. Services, such as catering, entertainment and venues may require deposits. Ask for payment in advance; that’s if it is a pay-to-attend event.
Confirm all details again 1 week prior to the event. 
Buy decorations and refreshments in the days leading up to the events. Ask for alumni who attend to help with set up.
Post event pictures on social media.
This would help so when next you are throwing a party people would know they have to be there.

right? Now you’ve got all it takes to make your special someone feel even more so. Go for it!    
”

I remember there was a time I was very enthusiastic about African authors. I would go to the bookshop at the Galleria almost every week to see what was new. Most times, I was challenged after reading. Like here I am with so many stories in my head waiting for the magical hour to put them on paper. I am always proud of those who have taken time out to write those stories, type them, correct them and modify them if necessary. I rekindled my love for African literature by picking up a book Lonely Roads by William Ifeanyi Moore.
I read the excerpts online and was convinced I had to read more. There is something about forbidden love that gets my blood pumping.
 
Lonely Roads synopsis
The book is set in the era of slave trade and a time when the Igbo Osu (slave) caste system was firmly in place. It gives a brief narration of how one became an Osu in those days without being born into it. The consequences of starting a family as an Osu, the unending loneliness and of course the danger of falling in love outside of your social class.
This book tells the story of Afam Udemba who if not for the circumstances of his birth would have been a great man. The ‘adopted’ son of an Osu woman, his life is filled with loneliness as he is banished from his society.
Women have long been the downfall of men from the days of Adam. Adaobi in this story is no exception, the beautiful daughter of Onwa, a chief and close friend of the traditional ruler. She breaks the norm, predictability and loneliness of Afam’s life. As with all flaming passions, they both get burnt but there is restoration even in the bleakest of circumstances.
Lonely Roads is a totally engrossing book from a promising Nigerian author. Worth a read.

like Luther gone bad) *swooning*.
”

Worried that sometimes you feel like pulling out your hair out of anxiety or stress? Relax! It happens to almost everyone. Stress is a normal occurrence we experience at one point or the other in our everyday lives. Pressure at work, family troubles, financial circumstances, health matters, relationships, personal convictions are more than enough reasons to get stressed out. But sometimes, not all stress related issues are negative. There’re several times we get unnecessarily anxious even in positive situations like getting married, attending a job interview, pregnancy etc. However, your ability to stay in charge no matter how challenging the situation might seem is very essential. That’s stress management!
Sometimes, the ongoing experience in your life may not be so challenging, but how you view and respond to it counts. This is one major cause of undue stress.
Often called the “silent killer”, stress has extreme effects on the mind and body if not kept at a minimal level. Do you know that when you’re strained, your body releases brain-shrinking hormones? Not only is your body weighed down, and of course blood pressure increased (heart attack risk), your ability to learn, think right and remember is greatly affected during stress periods. Your body also becomes more susceptible to illnesses. Your overall well-being is definitely affected. Quite awful, right? 
Wouldn’t you rather take charge of your life and keep tension at a comfort zone? You really should. Here are some techniques:
How often do you dwell on negative events?
Do you replay stressful episodes in your mind? You shouldn’t. Each time you do, you bring back the situation alive, and your body is in a constant state of danger management. This means your body automatically activates stress-response repeatedly. Stress response is when your body releases stress hormones to combat danger or emergency situations. This is quite good but can be very detrimental to your health if too regular.
Having issues with your time?
Well, that’s very normal in today’s frightening fast-paced world. But do you know that you can prioritize your goals and tasks? The use of time management skills will also put your mind at ease and save you unnecessary stress. You should also learn to say NO when you sense you can’t take on more.
Is your glass half-empty or half-full?
How you answer this age-old question reflects your attitude toward yourself, your outlook on life and definitely, how you handle challenging situations. Do you know that positive thinking (optimism) is a key part of stress management? When you’ve a general disposition to always expect the best, you’re able to deal better with challenges in a more positive and productive approach.
Do you take time out daily to relax?
Many don’t think it’s necessary but you should consider it. Constant relaxation helps recharge your batteries. The relaxing effects of making time to do fun things with friends and families can’t be quantified. Do things that bring you joy and make you laugh often and you’ll be amazed at how less stressed you’ll be!
Making healthy lifestyle choices
This is another sure-fire way to increase your resistance to being stressed. Healthy eating, taking little or no alcohol, sleeping adequately and engaging in regular enjoyable exercises are ways that have proved significantly to relieve stress.
Feeling tensed or stressed?
Repeatedly take a deep breath and exhale. Breathing in a controlled manner helps to relax your nervous system. This keeps your body and mind calm, and eases stress drastically. There’re quite a number of breathing techniques in Yoga that can also keep you relaxed, try them often.
Put these tips into work and consistently enjoy increased feelings of calm and wellbeing.

Lipsticks for dark skin can be very daunting to choose from. I mean you see one that looks great on its own or on a white model but can’t tell how it would look on.
Dark burgundies and deep browns are a safe bet for mahogany-skinned ladies, but for those looking for an extra pop of color, cooler skin tones should switch it up with a bright red or orange, while those with warmer skin tones should give wild orchid a whirl. And though women with dark olive to caramel complexions can pull off a variety of lip shades, browns and nudes can sometimes wash them out, so they should be sure to pick one with a sheer moisturizing shine so it’ll reflect the light off their lips, making them look fuller and poutier.
 Pinks, purples, reds, and nudes—with hundreds of lipstick options out there, guidance from a pro is always appreciated.This is basically me giving you my lipstick wish list.
For Orange(Lipsticks)
Don’t shy away. Neon orange electrifies ebony complexions.
Think MAC Morange.
Mac So Chaud
For Pink
NYX Matte Lipstick Shocking Pink
Mac All Fired Up; I know I say good things about other lipsticks but this was my introduction to Mac and I haven’t turned back after.
Mac Viva Glam Nicki
For Reds
In the Mac range;
Ruby Woo
Lady Danger
New Temptation
Nars Velvet lip pencil
For Purple
Iman Taboo gives an exotic look.
Mac Heroine
Mac Flat Out Fabulous; this is seriously one of my favourite shades ever. I look pretty in it.
For Nudes
Mac Taupe; This lip is my JAM! Seriously, I will wear it again and again. It’s exactly what I was looking for in a nude color. It matches my skin color so well that it makes my lip line vanish. In order to give my lips definition, I apply a brown lip liner first. Then, two layers of the lip color. Then, I finish with another layer of liner to blend. This is also a strategy you can use if the nude lipstick you bought looks ashy once you put it on. 
I am also a fan of Mac Ravishing; It is a nude lipstick though it has some peach undertone. It brightens my face.
The nude revelation of the century House of Tara Adoshe
For Blue
Yes now, last but not the least is Blue for fun fabulous nights and photoshoots.
Try Kaoir
 

I actually used to run away from eye shadow. I have really prominent eyes so I never wanted anything that would draw more attention to them. Well, I changed my mind. An angel did my makeup and I loved the result with the eyeshadow so much I had to learn to do it myself to bring on the glam from time to time.
So starting out;
Choose your eyeshadow
You don’t have to match your eyeshadow with your clothes, shoes and accessories o.
Try to buy a nice colour palette. Although you don’t need to have dozens of colors to be an eyeshadow artist, it is recommended that you have at least three shades of eyeshadow in the same color palette. Several different looks require a light, medium, and dark eyeshadow.
Matte powder eyeshadows in an array of neutral tones from light to dark are your best bets for a classic, sophisticated eye design that accents the shape and color of your eyes.
Adding shine is best for the brow bone only, especially if you have wrinkles around the eye or your eyelid skin is less than taut. There are many good powder eyeshadows that impart a soft, subtle shine to highlight this area.
Apply
You need only 4 essential brushes needed to create any look.
A stiff flat brush to apply eyeshadow to your entire lid.
A soft or stiff dome brush is used for applying eyeshadow to your crease and blending it outwards.
A soft pencil brush to apply eyeshadow close to your lash line. These are small and thin enough to work on both your upper and lower lash line, as well as in difficult to reach areas like the inner corner of your eyes.
Although you can indeed apply your eyeshadow using your fingertips, they will likely be too big and are coated in natural oils which make application difficult
Prep the eyelid and under-brow area with a matte-finish concealer, foundation, and/or powder before applying eyeshadow. This ensures a smooth, even application and (if you have fair to medium skin) will also neutralize the red and blue coloration of the eyelid.
Tap off any excess eyeshadow from your brush before applying. This prevents over-application and minimize flaking eyeshadow.
Instead of sweeping your eyeshadow back and forth across your eye in a fast motion, use short, slow brush strokes going in the same direction to blend colors. You should never be moving your hand quickly as you apply your eyeshadow.
Unless you are using a highlighter color, you should never apply your eyeshadow all the way up to your eyebrows.
 

Any fashionista worth her salt knows that fashion nowadays doesn’t have to be matchy matchy. If you have ever been afraid to clash, I encourage you to try out these patterns and be adventurous in your fashion.
Reading through this article, you would see that I love Ezinne Chinkata‘s style. When I thought patterns, been adventurous and edgy that was the name that came to mind.
Have a look at the latest patterns in vogue right now;
Bold Gingham Patterns
Gingham patterns seem to be in for a few seasons now, though it has only gotten bolder for 2016. There is a bit more accenting to it now, a bit more color and a touch more creativity.
First Draft Prints
These days words are heavily used and this is not just something for the youngins. In this case, a few designers opted to write their pieces on their garments, a creative process presented that uses imperfect or amended slogans.
Watercolor Prints
We see paintings of all types, but instead of brushstrokes, here we have some intriguing watercolors that take on the iconic works of master painters.
Plaid & Checkered Patterns
While plaid is a rather large print trend but now bold colors and bolder designs, the smaller more geometrical and clearly lined checks are even more interesting and appealing.
Stars & Geography Prints
The world is a beautiful place and there comes a time when designers are going to turn to some geographic prints to sate their curiosity in bringing that beauty onto the fashion floor.
Stars are cool now too. Dresses, denim and other garments find themselves adorned with stars!
All Different Stripes
It is a warm weather classic that has been around for ages, or at least many decades and has been getting an update on an annual basis.
Clearly Animal Prints
This is my favorite trend. It looks fantastic as well, with animal features appearing on the runway in clear detail – as opposed to simply being the print of the hide – throughout the Fashion Weeks around the world.
 
I love to see you try these trends.