Hello Mom,
Pushed to your breaking point and you just couldn’t help but spank your kid? Trust me, we’ve all been there. But do you know what hitting your child does? It drives home the wrong message in more ways than one. Yes, you read me right!
Spare the rod and spoil the child. Isn’t that what the old proverb says? Definitely! This proverb is a way of saying children should be corrected. But on the contrary, it has formed the basis for child spanking – an insidious act done by some parents and even condoled in some schools. Should child spanking be a form of discipline? Hmm, I sure don’t think so. And here’s why.
Enforcing discipline through spanking causes fear in a child not understanding. It teaches the child to avoid you (the punisher), not what they did wrong. And there’s every possibility that the wrong will be repeated.
Do you know that spanking is damaging to the long-term mental health of children as well? Studies show that children who were spanked are more prone to depression, low self-esteem and anxiety. They’re also more likely to become deviants, aggressive and anti-social adults. According to these studies, more than 40% of aggressive people had a violent childhood. Physical punishments like beating/spanking rank top on the list of childhood violence/abuse. Hitting is a way of teaching the child to be a hitter and this forms the basis of their relationship with others as they grow (little wonder, we’ve got an alarming rate of increased domestic violence).
 Spank Your Kids?

Here’s a common scenario that I’ve publicly witnessed many times – a misunderstanding between two playing kids. One hits the other and the victim breaks out crying. An adult comes into the scene and the hitting kid instantly gets a good spank on the bum (worst case scenario, a slap on the cheek or back). Rather than get a counsel on reasons not to hit, the child gets hit in return. The kids just got a clear demonstration that it’s right to hit people (especially as a bigger one). You just modelled to the child that by hitting him in return, you have corrected the wrong he did to the other child – in other words, violence is the way to go in resolving issues.
In our African society where spanking is widely encouraged, common phrases like – “I wasn’t spared by my parents”, “my dad had a cane for me” – are often used to justify physical punishment. However, the question is, how many of us can truly refer to those times as happy childhood moments? If we can’t, why should our children be subjected to same?
Interestingly, a child is more likely to remember the hurt from one spank than the show of love from ten hugs. Is spanking then really necessary? If you ask me, there are less frightening detrimental options at our disposal as parents to address childish misbehaviours.
What’s your take?