I hear people complain so much about the new generation of men. Heck, even I have complained. Now you hear more tribal stereotypes Yoruba this, Igbo that, Hausa men are like this and I wonder why the complaints are louder than ever. I started tracing the root of this problem, I came to a conclusion that it is up to us to bring up our sons to be the men we wish we had, the men we would be proud of.
Your son will get lots of information—some true, some false—from his peers and the media, so he needs your help to sort it all out.
1. Teach him about his body
Teaching your son about his body should be an open, honest and continuous conversation, starting at an early age. When boys are 8 or 9 years old, they are widely varied in their levels of curiosity and understanding. Some may ask lots of questions, while others may be wondering about things to themselves. Respond to their questions, but don’t wait for them to come to you. And, if they ask you a question you’re not ready to respond to, it’s okay to say, “Let me think about it.” Just make sure you follow through with an answer. If someone is bullying your son or touching him in an inappropriate or harmful way, help him feel comfortable with saying “no” and telling an adult. It will be easier for him if you already established an open, honest dialogue. Let them know what is right and wrong touching and to report anyone who tries to touch their private parts. Always ask about what games are being played especially with older children, adults and caretakers.
2. Teach him responsibility
I am a strong advocate of involving children in household chores from an early age. Teach him proper personal and environmental hygiene, to take care of his toys and belongings. Don’t leave the chores to your daughter. For those that have a husband that helps with the dishes, you know what a relief that can be. Please give that gift to your future daughter in law. You simply must teach him to save.
3. Teach him to develop his talents
Encourage your son to be active and try new things, from organized sports to playing with friends. Physical activity is not only good for the body, but it’s also a great opportunity to be active and interact with other children. By supporting their interests whether in music, arts, craft, sports, politics even and helping them decide what they want to participate in, you can also help them understand and build towards a future career or hobby. At a young age, let them explore.
4. Teach him to love, show affection and care
I encourage getting children pets but we all know how stressful that can be. If you have the power, go for it. Encourage care and concern for siblings, relatives and friends. To the best of your ability mark birthdays and celebrate achievements.
5. Privacy in person and online
You have to decide what age you would let your children join social networks or how much freedom they are allowed with phones, gadgets and the internet. Talk with your son about the importance of personal space and personal information—and respecting his own privacy, as well as others. Teach him about social media responsibility that anything posted online, including pictures of himself, is available for anyone, any time to see.
6. Teach him about faith
It is important for your child to have an anchor. No matter how far he may stray your words and teachings would be a moral compass. You cannot be there all the time but he will always have his conscience.