Relationships are hard to navigate sometimes. There is no one size fits all approach when it comes to dating, friendships, marriages and even dating with kids. However, certain ground rules apply to a majority of people.
Deciding on whom to date is even more important when you have a child. It is already a tremendous responsibility to yourself dating someone much less of when you have children to protect and look after. Here are some of my ground rules:
Be sure of a commitment
There are certain relationships we know are for a season, to fulfil whatever need or desire of that moment. Do not introduce your children to every man you meet on your journey to find Prince Charming. It gets harder to explain where Uncle Chinedu went and why he won’t be visiting. Only introduce a man when you have had conversations and taken steps towards a future together. Present the man in your life when you have completely accepted him and are in an exclusive, committed relationship.
Have a conversation with the father of your children
Yes, dating with children can be tricky. It is best to involve the father of your kids in their lives as much as possible depending on your personal circumstance. It is a good idea to mention that you are currently in a serious relationship, and your new significant other would be in the lives of your children
Prepare your children
It is okay to mention to your kids that you will be having a friend around. This helps you gauge the mood, and address their questions and emotions. It also helps reassure them that they are still priority and that they are not losing their mom.
Introduce your man in small doses
As much as you would want your man and your children to bond instantly, it does not always happen that way. Invite him first to social gatherings where your kids, friends and family will be present. The key is to invite him first around people your child is already comfortable with. Try not to force awkward moments and extended visits at home when they are not yet comfortable with each other.
Encourage your man to form a personal relationship with your child
Invite him to your child’s milestones such as birthday parties and school events and let him take part in your child’s favourite recreational activities. Try not to encourage competition with the biological father.
Best of luck!